Good Girl
by witchling
Summary: Max is upset. How will Alec help her realize there's more to life than being good? There's also being real.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I own nothing. Honestly. Actually that's not true. I own an iPod and a dog. But the iPod's broken. And the dog has fleas. Oh and if you're thinking of suing, you should probably be warned: if I were making money off this, I'd own more than a broken iPod and a flea-ridden dog. The song is "When You Were Young" by The Killers, with my own dark and twisted interpretation of it.

A/N 2: This is set in Season 2 (obviously a little AU). It's a bit heavy and angsty (Again: Dark and Twisted) but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Enjoy! Oh and the characters are out of character here, I know. Apparently nervous breakdowns will do that to you. Plus, in my world I am god and can make them do whatever I want. Na na na boo boo.

Alec walked into Crash. He knew Max was here, he caught her scent before he entered but she wasn't where he expected her to be. Usually she and OC had a table by the pool tables but tonight he could tell she was by the bar. _Odd_. _Maybe she's getting the table drinks_. But as he got closer he could tell that wasn't it. As he walked closer, the scent of desperation was coming off of her in waves so heavy it was hard to think of anything other than finding her. When he finally caught sight of her he caught his breath. She was sitting at the bar with two bottles of Jim Beam. One was empty. Her hair hung in a curtain around her face hiding it from her view. Her head was in her hands. She was deep in thought. Obviously the alcohol wasn't helping. Alec knew how that felt, desperately trying to drink away the pain, to forget. Unfortunately their metabolism made it virtually impossible to drink themselves into the required oblivion. But it was clear that Max was giving it a good try.

"What's wrong Max?" She lifted her head and just looked at him. Alec was taken aback by what was circling in the brown depths. She was frantic. There was a certain recklessness there just beneath the surface begging him to… he didn't know. It just needed to be freed.

"Me," she replied. "I'm wrong." _What? What does 'I'm wrong' mean?_ Alec touched her shoulder tentatively, unsure if she'd push him off but not knowing what else to do. It was the same thing he'd do to for one of his unit mates when life got to be too much. Physical comfort was necessary for their kind, but it was something Max was unused to and she was often standoffish about it.

"I'll never be right Alec, don't you see? Never be normal, never be good enough. Never right. No matter how hard I try, I'll never be right." Her voice broke on a sob. Alec sat down on the stool beside her, wrapped her in his arms and made soothing sounds. His hand made circles on her back. Over her shoulder Alec saw OC heading towards them looking distressed. She caught Alec's eye. Alec knew that whatever she saw there satisfied her because she abruptly turned and walked away.

"Alec?" Alec turned his attention back to Max.

"Yes Max?" She had lifted her head off of his shoulder, just far enough away to look into his eyes. She was close. Too close. He could feel her breath across his face. _Oh God_. Alec just looked at her, at a complete loss for what to say next.

"I've been trying so hard Alec, so hard to do the **right** thing. Because I never knew that I was so wrong. But…" Max drifted off. She looked away forlornly. "I'll never be them Alec. Never"

_**You sit there in your heartache  
Waiting on some beautiful boy  
To save you from your old ways  
You play forgiveness  
Watch it now- here he comes  
**_

At that moment a sudden stillness overcame Alec. Something was wrong. Besides the beautiful woman falling apart in his arms. Something was _wrong_. The smell hit him a fraction of a second before Max. _Logan_. Max stiffened and then broke out into another, louder, round of sobs. _ Whatever is going on between them, he is part of the problem right now_. Alec turned to face the threat. The Ordinary was no real threat but his instincts couldn't help but bristle at this man who dared to upset Max again.

"What the hell is going on here?" An indignant Logan practically shouted when he saw Max in Alec's arms. "Max? What are you doing?"

"Logan, back off. I'm dealing with it." Alec declared tersely. He hoped that Logan would see Max was upset and have done, but he was far from convinced.

"You're dealing with it? What the hell does that mean? Max doesn't need YOU!"

"Alec," Max whispered so low no Ordinary could hear her, "Alec, don't let me go." With that the usually strong brunette collapsed the rest of her barriers. Her 'perimeter defence system' was finally disengaged. "Get me out of here." She curled up in Alec's lap, and buried her face in his chest. Her hand griped his shirt so hard he was sure it would be permanently bent out of shape.

Alec had become indignant at Logan's statement. He tried to hold his tongue around the man, but he'd gone too far tonight. The possible truth in his statement hit too close to home and it hurt. _That's enough! It's me she's clinging to. ME._ "So she needs YOU? Is that what you're going to say? She needs YOU to hold her?" Alec knew it was a low blow but at the moment he didn't care. "She needs YOU to pick her up and carry her home? Because unless that's your plan, we're really rather busy."

With that he slipped one of his arms under Max's legs and carried her to the door. Ignoring the curious and sometimes downright flabbergasted looks from their audience, mostly made up of Jam Pony employees, Alec gave Logan a final glare. Then he ducked his head and pressed his lips to Max's hair. He rubbed his cheek against her purring and he turned around and walked out the door with her still safely anchored against him.


	2. Chapter 2

Alec had decided against taking her back to her place, just in case Loggie-boy opted to have another kick at the can. The drive back had been tricky, exhilarating too. Driving a motorcycle while holding a woman was complicated but something he'd done before. Driving Max's baby while holding a crying Max on the other hand, was something that could cause a slow and painful death if he screwed up. Still it would almost have been worth it if he screwed up when she docilely handed him her keys when he put out his hand for them.

Once they were at his place and Max was safely deposited on his couch, he sat down beside her and looked at her. He knew that it was a delicate matter of pushing enough to get her to open up and not going the step too far that could close her off forever. He was not good at this. Just looking at her, her shoulders hunched, her eyes red rimmed and puffy and her hands shaking made him wish fervently that Manticore had held a Handling Emotions 101 class. He'd always aced classes. So he went with what he knew: short, blunt but hopefully effective.

"Spill."

"Spill? _SPILL_? That's what you say to a girl who's obviously having some sort of break down right in front of you? Spill??" Alec grimaced. Her voice had risen sharply with each word. It had started off at shrill, so Alec was unsure of Ordinaries could have even heard the last 'spill'.

"Okay, so it was a stupid thing to say, but I'm not exactly good at this. You know as well as I do that deep emotional chats aren't quite my thing. I've never done it before, so maybe you give me some slack here. I'm trying." She still looked shell shocked. And mute. So he tried a different approach.

"Look, I don't know what to say. I just don't. But I'll listen and I'll try to understand. I will hear whatever you have to say and odds are: I'll get it. And then you won't be alone. And it's never so bad if you're not alone. I know that much," he said thoughtfully. "So I'll say it again: spill."

"I don't know who I am." Max stated baldly. It was almost like 'I'd like a burger', or 'wool is itchy'. It certainly did not sound like it was a potentially life-altering statement. It was not sad or angry or anything really. It was a nothing, throw-away sentence that they add to a paragraph to hit minimum word count.

It rocked the foundations of Alec's newly reconstructed world.

_If, Max: Miss 'I'm Queen Bitch', 'stealing is wrong', 'can't be a half-assed hero', 'been out in the world 10 years', Max didn't know who she was… then what hope in hell had the rest of them?_

"I don't look at myself in the mirror anymore. I just can't face what I see there. I'll take on White and his cronies with barely a second thought, but looking in a mirror terrifies me." She looked up at him. He was surprised he was still standing, nevermind being able to formulate an intelligent response at the moment. "I have tried so hard to be a good person, to stand up for the little guy, to put others first. I've tried desperately to be a good girl. But I can't. I can't Alec; I just can't. Why not?"

At that moment she looked just like a little girl. He could picture her after the night of the escape: her big, haunted eyes begging why she couldn't be like all the other girls. Why couldn't she be another ordinary in a sea of Ordinaries? _But what was this 'good girl' thing? What was so wrong with the way she was? She wasn't 'normal', no, but she certainly wasn't bad!_

"What is a good girl Max?"

"Come on Alec, I am selfish, rash, belligerent, stubborn, wilful, thoughtless, promiscuous …"

Shock did not begin to describe Alec thoughts. _Promiscuous? What the hell?!_ But she continued her tirade unaware of the short-circuit in his brain.

"I'm not generous; certainly not merciful, forgiving! I don't believe in anything; I think hope is for losers. Have you ever seen me show restraint? Discretion? I'm too proud by half. Anger is practically a synonym for Max around here. I cheat! I steal! I lie! I've killed! Oh god Alec…" her words stuck in her throat. She buried her head in his neck. He could feel her tears soaking him shirt. "Oh god Alec, if you only knew how I've killed."

This struck Alec as odd. Of course he knew she'd killed. They'd all killed. He'd probably killed ten times the number she had and sure he didn't feel good about it, but it didn't destroy him inside to know he'd done what he'd had to. Why her reaction was so severe now, was a mystery.

"But the worst part Alec, the absolute worst part of the whole thing was that I never knew it was wrong! The whole time! I never knew it was so bad, illegal yes, but BAD?"

At this a horrible feeling crept up Alec's spine. He had to know. Had to. There was no way around it. "How did you find out Max? How did you know?"

She loosened her grip on his shirt and sighed a little, "All I wanted, since I was little, was to be normal, an Ordinary. I thought I was pretty good at it too. Deck had never caught on to my location, even when I settled here. But I never really knew because it's not like I could ask anyone. 'Do you think I'm good at pretending to be normal?' is a question that would raise a lot of red flags, you know."

He smiled. Some of her humour was coming back.

"No one knew until Logan. He found out by accident and he offered to help me look for the others if I helped him with Eyes Only. Logan helped me understand."

Alec's hands instinctively tightened on her. He felt like he was going to throw up.

**_He doesn't look a thing like Jesus  
But he talks like a gentlemen  
Like you imagined when you were young  
_**

_Holy shit! I always wondered what she saw in him! That sick little fuck keeps her by letting her 'make up' for Manticore! 'Make up' for being transgenic. He gets her to pretend to be human! And she buys it! Too many years away from her own kind._

"So that's what all that 'stealing is bad' was about?" He tried to keep his voice light, tried not to betray his thoughts with either that or his face. He tried to swallow his repulsion and the honest desire to skin the man responsible for this alive. He tried to bury the rage and disgust deep inside. Apparently he failed and something in his voice must have alerted her to his state of mind, because she turned to him and gave him a curious look. She looked like a kitten, her nose scrunched up as she looked at him quizzically. Her forehead wrinkled right between her eyebrows.

"What do you mean?"

"When I first came to Seattle, you yelled at me to get a job. 'Stealing is wrong' you said. I thought it was ironic because according to you stealing was 'wrong' but you were there for the same thing I was." He said it gently, trying to lessen the confusion or hurt he may have caused with that statement. Pointing out she was going against her precious principles was perhaps not wise at this stage in their talk.

"I know," she said sadly. She hung her head, ashamed. "I know. That's what I mean. I struggle with it. I do so well for a while but inevitably in the end I'm a disappointment."

"God Max, you're not a disappointment! To anybody. How could you be?"

"To Logan. I do things that he would never do. Could never do. To him I am."

"Damnit Max! NO. You are you. Beautiful. Strong. Dangerous. Loving. Kind. " He would never in a million years say these things under normal circumstances; she would kick his ass for the presumption. Yet, they were all true. _Glaringly obvious_. "You ARE belligerent, and stubborn, wilful and often rash. I like that about you so I'll concede those. But promiscuous? Where in the world did you get that one?!"

"I've had more one night stands than I care to think about Alec," she replied in a small, timid voice. It was a very un-Max-like voice. _Is she afraid I'll think less of her for them? For fuck's sake I have 'em all the time!_ He was bewildered to say the least. _But if she's had them then why is she so disapproving of mine. She looks almost ashamed… but why?_

"Heat?" It was a simple question but her eyes said that it wasn't quite so simple as he believed. "But it isn't your fault. It's your in your DNA, your very make up, Max" At this she jumped off the couch. Her arms flailed around madly as she paced.

"I know. And I can't even control my god damned body! As if it's not bad enough to just sleep around; I have SLUT programmed into my very being!" She was working herself up to fever pitch.

"It's NATURAL Max. Not slutty. Natural." Gentle, calm reassurance was the tone he was going for but judging by her reception of his words, he was oh so slightly off-base.

"It is NOT! Do you see anyone else fucking anything with a pulse three times a year because she has to? I think NOT!" Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were snapping at him, her tiny hands were balled into fists so tight her knuckles were white with tension. _God she's beautiful when she's pissed. _

"Not natural for them, no. But for us Max? For a transgenic female, heat is the most natural thing in the world. You're not normal. Never have been. Never will be. No matter how hard you try. No matter what little tricks Logan teaches you. You will NEVER be one of them! And fuck Max! Why would you want to be?"

Alec never took his eyes off her, watching her warily. He saw the spark in her eye a moment ago. He knew she'd almost taken a swing at him. He probably would have let it connect too. He was just that much of a sucker. He saw her anger, but he also saw her hopelessness and weariness. She didn't need to fight right now. Later? Definitely. Now she needed comfort. Now if only he could get the words out right.

"I get it when you were younger. I do. Really. But now? That I don't get. When I first got out you kept busting my ass about stuff, kept trying to make me one of them, act 'normal'. And it sucked Max. SUCKED. I am what I am. It's the only thing I know how to be. It's the only thing you know how to be too Max. Just let yourself be. You are OKAY. Being transgenic is OKAY!" _Okay, that was not as reassuring as I was going for. Try again, this time without yelling at her jackass._

"No! NO!" she cried, "no nononono."

"Yes. Yes Maxie. You're okay. We're all okay. You're going to be fine Maxie. Just the way you are. Trust me. Just the way you are." He had dropped his defensive stance and made himself very small. Unthreatening. He approached her like he would a frightened animal, slowly deliberately, without hesitation but not aggressively. He was speaking softly, slowly. "Trust me Maxie. You're okay. Just the way you are. Trust me."

He could see her watching him. Cataloguing his movements, she followed his every step. Soon he was in front of her and as soon as his hand touched her skin, the fight drained out of her. She was just too exhausted to keep upright.

He scooped her in his arms and held her close. She just needed to be held, to have that physical contact she'd been denied so long. He tucked her head into his shoulder and rubbed his cheek against her hair. That's all he did until she felt asleep, just held her and stroked her back. And purred. The deep steady sound from the back of his throat always helped him when he was upset. Just the sound of someone purring made him feel safe. It meant it was with his own kind and they wouldn't let anything happen to him; he was protected. Safe.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Okay the fight scene leaves a little to be desired. It's a first for me in that respect so any reviews that might help with that.

_**Can we climb this mountain  
I don't know  
Higher now than ever before**_

**_I know we can make it if we take it slow  
Let's take it easy  
Easy now, watch it go_**

Alec sat with her for hours formulating a plan. What to do about Max's newly apparent self-loathing? He knew exploding on Logan, the one he deemed responsible for this mess, would not help. And somewhere deep inside, part of him conceded that maybe, MAYBE, it wasn't ALL Logan's fault. Her shame about herself and that burning desire to be something she could never be had begun long before she met the Log. He had played into it though, perhaps unwittingly. Still Alec's personal dislike for the man couldn't help but have influenced his own beliefs on the subject. _He SHOULD be hung from a lamppost by his ankles, naked and then eviscerated. Not going to happen of course, but a guy's gotta have some dreams._

She needed a reintroduction to all that was wonderful about her transgenic nature. She could run faster, jump higher, hold her breath longer and kick-ass better than any Ordinary on the planet_! That should be a few points in the 'I Don't Suck' category. But how to make her see that?_ Alec thought long and hard about the problem. It couldn't be anything illegal; because she already doubted her 'moral integrity'. _Whatever that is really!_ So reinforcing the 'bad' things wouldn't help. So… something fun, legal, and not too tainted by Manticore. _ Pity, playing 'who can hold their breaths the longest' would not be appropriate. I was good at that. _Alec knew that many of them had serious phobias and tank induced flashbacks. _Perhaps a little game of 'escape and evade'? She should be good enough; she has been playing non-stop for about ten years now. Was never really caught either. A challenge_. Alec's eyes lit up. They both loved a challenge.

"Max." Alec nudged her awake. "Maxie, Maxie, Maxie."

"What , you ass? I was having a good dream." She complained and tried to snuggle back into him and the dream.

"I bet it wasn't as good as the reality could be." He suggestively smirked and wiggled his eyebrows. "Admit it Max; you put on that show of crying at Crash just so I'd take you home and let you fall asleep on me. I bet it adds a whole new dimension to dreaming about my ass."

Before he had finished his first sentence she had shot off of his lap. Before he finished his second, her face had flushed and her eyes had narrowed dangerously. And before he finished his third sentence, her clenched fist was flying at his head.

"You goddamned…. Gah!" She shrieked as he ducked out of the way. "I am so gonnna kick your ass pretty boy!"

"I know you think I'm pretty," he ducked another swing," but what is it with you and my ass?" A kick came his way. It almost hit its intended target but again he moved too quickly; her anger was making her sloppy. His coffee table was destroyed though. _Maybe she'll get some satisfaction outta that, breaking my stuff_. "Besides, you'd have to catch me first!" With that he was out the door and down the hall.

_**We're burning down the highway skyline  
On the back of a hurricane that started turning  
When you were young  
When you were young**_

The few short moments it took for her brain to start functioning again and then catch up to him, were enough for him to climb to the roof. _Playing on the roof means less chance of tactical exposure._ He stopped there, twenty feet between them, his eyes dancing; this was going to be fun.

"Come on Maxie, we all know you're good at 'escape and evade', but how are you at 'pursue and procure'? He laughed loudly and spiritedly. And then he took off. He ran and she chased. They jumped rooftop to rooftop. They climbed up drainpipes, jumped off of ledges. Seattle became their playground.

The speed and dexterity with which they moved filled them with adrenaline. The thrill of the chase got to him every time. He knew their bodies were made to crave the rush; living without it must have been beyond difficult for her. At that moment, practically flying through Seattle he felt free. There were no government agencies out to kill him, no breeding cult out to hide from, no Ordinaries to pretend for, no superiors to take orders from. He was just Alec. Not 494. Alec. He'd never been just Alec before in his life. He was really and truly free. _This is worth fighting for. Worth dying for. This is everything_. Alec turned around to see if she felt the same. He missed the feline grin of pleasure on her face as her fist caught him in the side of the head. The chase was over.

"'Pursue and procure' Maxie! Nothing in that requires fists!" He hopped off the ground almost immediately. Both were in fighting stances, his primarily defensive. They circled each other warily, waiting for the next round.

"I'm pretty good at pursue and procure, but you know what Alec?" He was glad she was genuinely smiling, not without menace, but clearly she was having fun.

"No, but I've got a bad feeling" Anything that involved predatory circling and questions with Max was a bad thing. Painful to the other party involved. _So here's where the fighting begins. See? I knew she needed that nap!_ She was feisty, Alec was pleased. That had been the point of the exercise: to see Max happy, relaxed and revelling in her transgenic abilities.

"I seem to remember I much prefer 'acquire and annihilate'! " She threw another punch, which he neatly sidestepped, but caught in with a kick to the side. A resounding thwack!

"Ha! That's not what they called it at Manticore! Tsk tsk. Ten years in the world and you've forgotten all your childhood lessons Maxie!" He was surprised she got him._ Pay more attention! If she hands you your ass, you'll never hear the end of it!_ His own roundhouse missed but he landed a solid punch to the gut.

"I know it's not what they called it, but personally I think it has a snappier ring, so bip bip bip soldier boy!" He laughed. _Bip bip bip! Never thought those three little words would come out of her mouth_. He flipped her to the ground; she flipped over, landed on her feet and ran to a wall. She ran up the wall and took a flying leap at his head.

"Well if we're gonna rename things, I vote for 'obtain and obliterate'. Much snazzier title if I do say so myself" He caught her and flipped her. She landed on her feet, crouched into an attack position. She eyed him warily.

"Whatever you call it, I'm still going to win!" _Cocky little thing._ Alec knew that the warm up was over and it was going to be all or nothing from here on out.

"Not on your best day kitten, but you can go ahead and try." He crooked his finger, calling her on. The fists came fast and furious, an intricate dance that only those involved could decipher.

"Try calling me that again after I kick your ass, pretty boy." She taunted him, daring him to try. Alec decided for once to really show her what's what. It was about time his Maxie understood just exactly what she missed out on going AWOL.

"Again with the ass! I know it's pretty Maxie, but you need to find something else to do with your time then day dream! I'm really starting to worry"

"You are such a dumbass!" It was punch, sidestep. Kick. Connect. Punch kick. Sidestep. Punch. Connect. She was breathing heavily. The minutes ticked by where only grunts and the slick sound of flesh meeting flesh could be heard. Max was getting tired and irritated. Mostly by the fact that Alec was not. Not tired. And not irritated. She was losing. Quickly.

"Now kitten, am I sensing some frustration?" Alec grinned. They were blurs to most people, but he could make out her wrinkled brows and the scowl that was forming. She saw his cheeky smile. It infuriated her.

"Fuck you! And don't call me kitten!" She sent a jab straight for his head. She was fast but fortunately for Alec he was faster. He grabbed her arm and pulled it past him, pulling her off balance. With her stance unstable it was the work of a second to throw her on the ground. Now all he had to do was pin her.

Being thrown to the floor was a wake up call for Max, scrambling to regain her feet. She knew that if he managed to tackle her it would be a very bad sign. It would be difficult to escape. Max realized that he had never really tried to beat her before. This was not good. Alec had her. She was doomed. The likelihood of the tide turning in this fight was very, very small.

"Give up… Kitten?" He had her pinned on the ground. His torso was flat of hers using his body to keep her down. He could tell Max knew that his extra body weight was a very real advantage.

"Never pretty boy! And…" She twisted out from under him, almost escaped completely but ended up startlingly unable to catch her breath.

"Okay, but remember, as pretty as I am, I'm also soldier boy. And you skipped out on some training…kitten." He was playing with her. He knew she could tell. It was too much fun not to show on his face.

"GAH!" She screamed in frustration, trying madly to get out from under him. She managed to elbow him in the ribs, but he remained solid above her. He had groaned on contact and that made him worried.

"Can't move can you? So have I earned the right to call you 'kitten' yet?"

"No!" Max made a rather last ditch effort to use his own weight against him. She grabbed his right arm with hers and landed on top! _Ah! She escaped! That is sooo not happening!_ Apparently it had caught her as much by surprise as it did him because she was back to being pinned on the ground within seconds and this time securely. There would be no more escape.

"Keep wiggling kitten, and I'm afraid this position will get a little more uncomfortable." Alec saw his intended effect as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Her jaw dropped; her expression went slack.

"You, you… Get off me!" She stuttered and vainly attempted to force him to do so.

"Not until you say I won." Max abruptly quit struggling. She had lost. A sly, seductive smile crossed her face. She demurely batted her eyelashes.

"I won."

"Ha ha Kitten. Try again." He looked down at her, eyebrow arched. He was quite relaxed. Alec knew what he wanted her to say and he had no intention of moving an inch until she said just that. He was secure in his knowledge of her eventual surrender.

"You dirty piece of…" Max started wiggling again, the colour rising in her face. It was obvious she did not like the smugness of his expression.

"Come on, it's not like you wouldn't have demanded the same from me!"

"Fine!" _Aha!_ His eyes lit up in pleasure. She had finally surrendered, albeit disgruntledly.

"Fine what?" He loved teasing her. He could happily find never ending ways to tease her. It was a true talent.

"You won." Grudgingly. It was also too exasperated and quiet for his taste. He brought his head closer to hers and tipped it to the side. His ear was right next to her mouth. _This'll tech you to roll your eyes while admitting defeat!_

"What was that?

"You won you bastard!" His head shot back. Perhaps louder than it could've been, considering his ear was right there, but Alec decided to let it pass. He had other things to torture her with.

"And?" Her eyes practically bulged out of her head.

"And what? I already said you won!"

"And what can I call you from now on?" Alec knew he sounded like he was talking to a daft child but he liked the way it made his Maxie… Kitten bristle with indignation.

"Nothing!"

"Maaaxie?" Whining had always stood him in good stead.

"Gah! " Alec's face made an inscrutable expression.

"Not 'Gah', that's not a very cool nickname." He would never pick such a name and was affronted by the idea. A small smile slipped onto her face.

"Alec please?" Alec smirked. Why she did that to herself was beyond him. She HAD to know what kind of comment was coming next. He simply couldn't help it.

"You know I could get used to that, but unfortunately that's not it." He sensed the tone of the conversation changed. No longer resentful or irritated, she seemed lighter somehow.

"Fine, Kitten!" She relented. Alec thought she was secretly pleased with the nickname. It was a good one.

"Say it all together now!" Alec sang.

"I hate you." Her no doubt intended effect was ruined by laughter. Alec stared at her. There was no way in hell she was getting away without saying it and he wouldn't even dignify the attempt with a response. His pointed look made her relent.

"Fine! Damn you! You win and can now call me kitten."

"Thank you Maxie… kitten" He jumped off her, brushing imaginary dirt off his pants theatrically. He extended his hand to help her up.

"I still hate you though" She fake grumbled.

"Always." He smiled, really smiled. The night had felt so good, so right. Just the two of them playing along the rooftops of Seattle; it was perfect. Well, not quite perfect. He smirked. He needed more nights like this one.

"Come on, let's walk to your place and go for a ride on my baby."

"Alright Kitten, sounds like a plan." Alec chuckled inwardly; Max had made a face at the name, but hadn't corrected him. And she was walking happily beside him, in comfortable silence.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I don't know about this story. There's just something… I dunno. Is anyone reading it? See, I've got this idea for another story so I'm thinking should I finish this one or just move onto the other one?? There would only be another chapter until it's really done… meh, I guess I'll finish but it may take a while. I'm sort of stuck for ideas, so if you have any for me review and let me know. Just review anyway.

**_And sometimes you close your eyes _**

**_And see the place where you used to live  
When you were young_  
**

"Do you ever get scared Alec?" Max asked quietly. He knew he was probably the only one in her life she could ever ask such a question.

"Of what specifically?"

"Scared that you'll never be more than just what they made you? You'll never be anything but a soldier, an experiment?"

"All the time Kitten. We all are." It was true, some nights he just lay in bed paralysed with fear. The only comfort he could give her was the reassurance of not being alone.

"What do you do?"

"I just don't let them define me Max. I am what I am. Neither wholly soldier, nor wholly civilian. I'm a bit of Manticore, a bit of the outside world, but I'm always ALL transgenic. I wouldn't trade it if I could."

"So you're okay with being a soldier? With all that Manticore represents?!" her voice was strained, her body tense for another fight.

"Yep. I'll always be a soldier. You too. You'll never get away from that simple fact of your life. You'll always be able to disassemble and reassemble a handgun in 4.5 seconds. And Manticore only represents Manticore. Not me. If anything Manticore represents you more than it does me. Strange that." Alec did wonder about that. He had eleven more years of Manticore, but somehow it had stayed with her to such an extent that it defined her more than him. _Constant looking over your shoulder would do that to you I suppose. _Granted, he was still looking for what defined him, but Manticore didn't BOTHER him to the same extent. Nightmares yes, rejecting his own nature out of fear no.

"What? What the hell are you…" She turned sideways, furious, ready to attack. He saw the dangerous look on her face.

"Max." Alec stopped walking. He grabbed her arms and made her look at his face. "It represents you because you try to be it's exact opposite. That's great and all, no drowning kids because positive reinforcement didn't work fast enough. But you deny part of yourself in doing that. "

"I am NOT Manticore!"

"You were designed there, born there and trained there until you were nine. Those are the facts. Your 'brothers and sisters' were all from Manticore. That's where you met them and lived with them and loved them. Manticore was evil. But it shaped you. That doesn't make you evil. It makes you Max. It makes me Alec."

"Maybe." One look at her face and Alec knew she wasn't convinced but was willing to let him try.

"You've got more of the outside stuff figured out. I'm still playing around with my freedom. But I understand the Manticore stuff better. It's only fair. I was there eleven years longer. We're all still sorting it out Kitten," he said gently. "I think it's the human part." He chuckled at that, but let it go." I hope that was it for the Manticore component of the evening."

She looked like maybe she was considering his words. Her nose always scrunched adorably when she was deep in thought. Then a curt nod told him she'd accepted that, for now.

"Why Kitten?"

"Hunh?"

"I said, why Kitten?" He could tell, she honestly wanted to know. Her eyes were alight with curiosity.

"Because," he answered quietly, sincerely. "I like you best like that. Natural. Free. Like tonight. You have claws but you know when to, and when not to use them. Curious and playful. Fun. Like a kitten."

"Is that really the way you see me?" She asked. Her eyes were wide, awestruck, as if it were impossible. It was as if no one could see the good, fun part of her; as if she hardly believed it existed.

"No," he replied thoughtfully. "Usually I see you depressed, anxious and upset. It's the way I would like to see you more often."

**_They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet  
You don't have to drink right now  
But you can dip your feet  
Every once in a little while  
_**

"You can be almost anything you want Max. You can be… what was it?" he prompted. She looked at him with contempt. _Oops, foiled plot!_ He knew he was caught attempting to make her repeat earlier claims in hopes of her realizing just exactly how stupid they were.

"I'm not saying it again Alec." Her eyebrow arched delicately. It was her 'I know precisely what you're up to dumbass' look.

"Fine." He didn't need her to repeat it. He was not a genetically enhanced super soldier for nothing. He had the same eidetic memory as all the Manticore alum. "You can be as selfish, rash, belligerent, stubborn, wilful, thoughtless and promiscuous as you want. I am particularly in favour of proper promiscuity from you by the way." He smirked. He couldn't help it, inappropriate banter was his thing.

"Seriously though, we're all selfish. It's a survival instinct. Every being on the planet is. And when it comes to the important stuff, you are one of the least selfish people I've ever met."

"Pfft. No offense, but being less selfish than anyone with anything to do with Manticore, isn't really a complement!" She scoffed at that. He ignored the implication, erroneous implication, that he didn't know anyone outside of Manticore well enough to apply to that statement.

"But it isn't an insult either is it?" he cheekily responded.

"No I guess not." She conceded with a rueful smile.

"I like the fact that you're outwardly stubborn, often reckless, but kind, generous and loving on the inside. It's part of the bitch persona. Tough chick with a heart of goo. It just makes it more special for those of us that get to see the goo Maxie."

"Goo? Are you trying to tell me I'm full of GOO?" She tried to look offended.

"Yup!" he threw his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close into his side. "Soft, mushy, goo." She pretended to scowl.

"You show restraint all the time when you really need it. Maybe not verbally. Okay definitely not verbally. Or when it comes to hitting me" Alec grinned. "Especially when it comes to that! But you haven't snapped White's neck yet and you've gotta be tempted."

"So, I'm a good person because I haven't snapped someone's neck?!" She looked rather incredulous. Maybe it wasn't the best example. Logan would probably be shocked that he had even put that forward as evidence. _But she has been tempted. Very, very tempted. And I bet Loggie boy wouldn't approve of or understand that either._

"In our lives Max, that counts for something." He tried to show just how serious he was with his face. "We cheat and steal for two reasons. One: money makes the world go round and we need to get by without drawing attention. It's easy for us. And two: It gives us a thrill, an adrenaline high, the same feeling we got tonight racing. We need that Max. We were designed to thrive on it, crave it. That's all Max. It doesn't makes us bad." A cheeky grin snuck onto his face. "In fact, I like to think it makes us resourceful!"

"I've killed Alec. Taken someone else's life, watched it slip right through my fingers. Dead."

"Me too. Honestly I doubt there's a transgenic alive that has escaped without personally snapping the necks of at least a dozen people. "We mostly had no choice and even when we did it was often for the best. I've killed people I've cared about and I've seem them killed and stood by and done nothing. It's awful. And sometimes it feels like it will never get better." Alec stared off into the distance. His mouth was set in a grim line. He knew the pain of having killed. It made him guilty. He knew the guilt and self-hatred she was feeling. "The only thing I can say is that it doesn't make us evil. We did what we had to. We did the best we could with what we had at the time. That's all anyone can do."

"It's just…" she looked at him, a little lost girl wondering why. Why did she have to be different? Why couldn't life just be easier? "I guess it's just that it never seems that we fit. We can't play by the rules Alec. Just can't."

"We play by the rules Kitten, just different rules. And that's okay too. They're our rules, designed especially for us."

"Especially for us?" Max looked hopeful. Confused but hopeful.

"Yep. You know why?" Max looked at him blankly, clearly not having a clue about what he was talking about. "They're designed especially for us because we get to design them. Bit by bit, rule by rule as we go along."

"Okay."

"Okay? Okay??" Alec was stumped. Max never just went along with something he said. There was always drama before the eventual resignation.

"Yeah, c'mon, did you really think I'd object to making the rules?" her eyebrow arched and the corner of her lips quirked upward. It was almost a smile. Alec laughed.

"You only get to make the rules for you, so don't even think about it."

"Fine! You're not helping with the recovery process, but that's just fine. Plus I'll simply beat you if you don't follow my rules." She looked satisfied with that pronouncement, apparently forgetting all about her spectacular defeat earlier. "Rule one: No guns. I will not use a gun unless absolutely necessary as a last resort and I will not carry one. Only in the direst of circumstances if then. Rule two: Killing only when for the necessary protection of my family. Rule three…" Max drifted into thought.

"How about, rule three: Do one thing solely for the purpose of making yourself happy at least twice a week?" Alec suggested. It would be good to see a happy Max on a regular basis. He'd heard rumours about an elusive happy Max that seemed to have disappeared shortly before her return to Manticore and it was now his personal mission to bring her back.

"Okay. That's an acceptable rule three. Rule four: Steal only from those who can afford it, or those who deserve it. Luckily for us those two are often one and the same. I think that's about it for now."

"Good rules Kitten! Brava!" Alec was glad to see she was loosening up. Her sense of humour was officially back and she was smiling more than ever. "And just for the record: I love guns. I will use guns I will be armed at all times and nothing you can say will deter me from that. But I understand why you may not like them so I'll leave you alone about that and expect you to do the same. Capice?"

"Fine." Max was resigned. She'd been hoping to convince him on the gun front.

"Good." Alec was satisfied. They were almost back at his place, he had a happy Maxie under his arm and the world seemed to be quiet. This was good.

Alec?" Can you do something for me?" She sounded tentative, unsure, but she was looking up at him with those dark chocolate eyes and there was nothing on the earth he could deny her.

"Anything kitten." Max knew at that moment that he had said the simple truth. He would help her with anything. He always had.

"Can you…. Could you maybe… train me?"

If Max had asked him to strip naked and run through the streets screaming 'I love Ames White', he wouldn't have been more surprised. _Train her? Train Max?_ "But Max you've always said we're not soldiers anymore. You especially! Train you? I thought you wanted to get away from everything remotely connected to Manticore?"

"It's dangerous out here Alec. More so now than ever before. I need all the advantages I can get especially with me being top on White's shit list."

He was still stunned. Earlier tonight she'd been crying about lying and stealing and now she wanted to learn more of the 'fine art of assassination'. Alec figured he shouldn't be so surprised. Ass kicking was something Max always excelled at.

"Yeah Maxie. I'll train you. No tank. No live ordinance drills. And no three hour runs in the morning. But as you witnessed this evening, the sparring I can do."

"Great!" She smiled. Alec's heart flipped over just a little bit. She was smiling. _At him!_ _She never smiled at him._ Tonight seemed to be the beginning of a new Max and a new… well, maybe just a friendship. Alec wasn't really sure what he'd classify their relationship as before tonight. Begrudging toleration? Love-hate? Without the love bit? Whatever. Clearly that was unimportant. He was feeling good. She was feeling good. And right now that was all that mattered.

To Be Continued…


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: This chapter took a while. Sorry about that, but it was a difficult one to write. I'm still not really pleased with it, but I'm afraid that's as good as it gets. I want to thank everyone who reviewed. I hope you all enjoyed it. Tell me what you think. And Anna…I do not live in Calgary, I did for a few months, but my mother does.

Max interrupted Alec's inner reverie. "Can we start tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? It's already tomorrow!" Alec gestured wildly around him. His arms flailed in a vague motion towards the sky, which was beginning to turn a pale pink.

"Whatever pretty boy, I repeat: Can we start tomorrow?"

"Yeah, after Crash." Alec paused. He looked thoughtful. "Does that mean I can't pick up any girls at Crash then? I mean if we're going to be training at night, I can't exactly bring someone home and then make 'em wait until we're done can I?"

"I guess you'll have to learn the fine art of celibacy." She mock sighed in resignation. She knew it would get to him, suggesting that the self-proclaimed "King of the Ladies" would have to forgo the pleasure he sought out on almost a nightly basis.

"Celibacy is NOT a fine art, in fact I am pretty certain in my belief that celibacy is the absence of fine art." Alec was mortally offended. The way he wooed his one night stands; the way they melted with a touch or a well-chosen phrase, THAT was an art! And he was a damn good artist.

"Whatever it is, get used to it." Her tone was bored but her eyes were sparking. Max was pleased. Usually it was him getting under her skin, making her crazy. She realized how much fun it was to be on this end of the crazy-making.

"Nunh unh! No way. All work and no play makes Alec a very dull boy." Alec shook his head firmly. No way. No how. That was NOT happening. Granted, spending every night with Max like this would be amazing, but unless he was getting another kind of release out of the bargain, it was no deal. He looked at her. She seemed sure and satisfied with herself. _I might be a fool for her but where does she get off… keeping me on a leash… like some little puppy dog!_

"Good. I've always thought you were a little too high strung anyway_." High strung? High strung was for horses and children, certainly not a fine specimen of manhood. That's it! The tables are a- turning!_

"Not gonna happen Maxie, I mean look at what celibacy has done for you!! " Her jaw dropped as the look of pleasure was replaced by a scowl. She was back on her usual end of the crazy-making. Asshole.

"HEY! Mind your own business." He knew just how to rile her up. She really should have named him Dick.

"You getting some is everyone's business. I believe the bitchiness factor rises in direct proportion to the lack of sex." At that statement her eyes narrowed and sparks flew. Her hands balled into fists. Alec could tell she was valiantly attempting to curb her violent tendencies. For now at least.

"Back off or I'll kick your ass!"

"Kitten we've already proved that point once tonight. But seriously, we train five days a week and the other two days BOTH of us use for the… um… relaxation of certain tensions."

"Relaxation?" She did not look impressed. "You are an ass!"

"Come on, I've already gone on the record about how in favour I am of proper promiscuity from you." He loved teasing her. It was so easy and she reacted so loudly.

"You're sick, like getting some in the answer to all my problems. Plus there's Logan." Alec stopped dead in his tracks.

"Yeah. Um. Kitten. About Logan…"

**_You sit there in your heartache  
Waiting on some beautiful boy  
To save you from your old ways  
You play forgiveness  
Watch it now- here he comes  
_**

Logan. Max tensed. Logan's name coming out of Alec's mouth never meant good things. The Log, Loggie-bear, Wheels, Captain Obvious, Four Eyes Only, even The Old Man were all indicators of normal Alec-Logan relations. Whenever Alec said 'Logan' there was always trouble ahead.

Alec knew this was dangerous territory. How to explain to her Logan was bad for her without sounding like a jealous schmuck? Worst of all was the fact that he was a jealous schmuck. But Logan WAS bad for her. She'd totally bought into his Eyes Only, help the helpless, anything for yourself is selfish, save the world by Tuesday mentality. Jealous schmuck issues aside, things had to change. They were almost back to his place though, he could see his door just down the street; it had been a good night and Alec was hesitant to wreck it with an argument about Logan.

"Just wondering when you were planning on telling the old man about your new rules for a happy, healthy transgenic lifestyle?" He managed to say it with most of his happy-go-lucky-sociopath façade in place.

"Logan would not like that would he?" She grinned a little. She could see his discomfort. He was good at covering it up, but the evidence was there when she looked for it. His eyes were too carefully blank, his smile didn't reach them; the muscle in his lower jaw was tightened and he was fidgeting with his fingers. These were all tells of a nervous Alec. "He's going to get all preachy about me 'reverting' to the way I was." She looked thoughtful. "It'll be funny though."

Alec was astounded. Such words had never exited the mouth of sullen Max, perhaps he had brought back the happy Max once and for all. Then Max stilled, her back straightened and the joy leached out of her face. Happy Max had gone bye-bye again. _What the hell? I haven't even said a word yet!_

Crap! There was the man of the hour, sitting by the door, obviously waiting for them to get back. He was right behind Max's ninja. So much for a nice ride around the city.

"Hey buddy, we were just talking about you!"

**_He doesn't look a thing like Jesus  
But he talks like a gentlemen  
Like you imagined when you were young  
When you were young  
_**

Alec was still tense. The other man's presence put him on edge. He couldn't help it. It was pure instinct. The hair on the back of his neck rose and he perched on the balls of his feet. Alec knew it was silly; there would be not fight, not with Logan, not like that. The only fight he had with Logan couldn't be solved by physical prowess. Pity that. If it could, Alec would win.

"What the hell was going on tonight, Max?" Logan questioned. The words had a grating condescension to them.

"I was upset." Max stood defiant. Her face said she didn't give a damn and her body was poised to defend.

"Upset? You were all over **him**!" Logan was incredulous. This was not what was supposed to happen. She was supposed to apologize and move away from Alec. But she stood there, looking comfortable, with his arm around her shoulders.

Max felt safe tucked in beside Alec's body. She was sheltered, protected, warm. Logan wouldn't hurt her, couldn't even touch her, but the emotional impact of the man could be shattering she knew.

"Yes. I was upset and Alec comforted me Logan." She saw the death-rays Logan was sending Alec. His glare was pretty good for an Ordinary. "Why? What's the problem? Do you want something?"

Alec couldn't help but be proud of her. She was standing up for herself, for the boundaries that she had evidently never made clear in the past. The eye contact between the two men was almost blistering. He could imagine colonies of ants set aflame by being stared at so relentlessly. This stubborn, forthright, outspoken, kick-ass, **dangerous** looking chick, **this** was his Maxie.

"I needed you for an Eye's Only mission! It was important. Tonight was the only night this week that it could have been done! And you were off…." Logan looked flustered, trying to come up with a suitable word for her irresponsible actions no doubt. " You were off gallivanting, with Alec!"

"Yup." Max's expression was that of extreme nonchalance. "Rule three."

"Yup? Rule three?" Alec chuckled. Logan was clearly about to blow a gasket. Or maybe his head would come off. That would be cool, messy, but cool. "I tell you that you were needed for something of the utmost importance to help make the world a better place, you blow me off with the excuse of 'Rule three'? What the hell is rule three?"

"It's like I've told you before. 'The world will still be broken tomorrow.' And the 'rule three' thing is quite simple. The rules are 'Queen Max's new rules for a healthy and happy lifestyle'. Get it 'queen' Max?" At the bewilderment shown by the two males in the vicinity, Max explained. "I'm not a bitch. Bitches are female dogs…. A female cat is a queen." They still didn't get it. " You guys suck."

"Haha, the kitten made a funny."

"Shut up Alec." She hit his arm playfully. It was an easy thing to do because he still had it wrapped around her. She looked at him mischievously only to find that he was somewhat preoccupied with scrutinizing someone else's every muscle twitch.

"Will the two of you stop acting like children and explain what you are talking about!" Logan was angry. They had messed up his EO gig and to add insult to injury she was ignoring him as much as she could. And the attention he was getting from Alec didn't make him feel any better. Alec was still watching him. His eyes hadn't left Logan since he had first seen him laying in wait.

"There are only four rules as of yet. Rule number three is 'me time' Logan. As I said: simple." Max was irritated now. All she wanted to do was ride off on her baby, maybe head to the Space Needle. Screw it. If tonight was her rule three, then she was going to damn well make use of it. She was outta here. "Well nice chat boys but I'll be on my way now."

"But Max…"

"Later." It was brusque, dismissive. Alec couldn't be more pleased with her.

With that Max turned and hopped on her baby. Straddling the bike, facing away from both Alec and Logan she paused.

"Oh, and Alec?"

"Hmm Max?" He sounded distracted even to himself. It was hard to drag his eyes off of Logan's face. The whole time Max and Logan had been sorting out their stuff images had been flashing through Alec's mind. There were images of Max crying, her despair at never being good enough, and her desperation not to be an extraordinary girl in an ordinary world. In short, Alec was just about ready to pounce.

"Just because you were right this one time, does not make you any less of an idiot. Got it?" Her obvious attempt at being harsh failed as he caught the sparkle in her eyes and the twitch of her upper lip. He put on his sincere innocent face. He used it often enough to know she saw right past it, but it was his role to play.

"Let's see? Me right. But me idiot. Yup. I think I got it Max. But just in case, you might want to repeat the 'me being right' bit."

"Ass." She stated. She didn't spare him another glance. She revved the ninja and drove away at top speed. The two men left standing in the street looked at each other, unsure what to say. Logan looked speechless, so Alec began. Just looking at the Ordinary irked him, never mind after the night he'd had.

**_I said he doesn't look a thing like Jesus  
He doesn't look a thing like Jesus  
But more than you'll ever know_**

"She doesn't need you to save her you know." Alec said. "She is what she is and no amount of your manners lessons, or 'stealing is bad' is gonna change that. She's always going to love the thrill of a heist; she'll always need to drive faster than humanly possible…" Alec smirked at that: _humanly_ _possible_.

"…she'll always be able to see in the dark; she'll never sleep through the night; she'll never be human…" _And why would she ever want to be?_ He was getting worked up; that bit still rankled. There was nothing wrong with her, with them. _Nothing_.

"…and best of all is the one simple fact that she'll never be tamed. Ever." He was ranting fiercely by then, not caring about the devastation on the older man's face. It was about time someone set the fool straight.

"Not by you. Not by anyone! So stop trying. You'll never really convert her. She might play along for a little while…" Another exaggerated grimace accompanied these words. _Had he already thought of all these things before?_ The Ordinary was no good at hiding his emotions.

"…but the truth is there. Always there just under the surface, just waiting for you to be a man and recognize it." With his piece said, Alec gave the man a once over and found him lacking. He turned and walked inside the apartment building.

Logan was left alone on the sidewalk jaw dropped, eyes wide with shock and humiliation for only a minute before his face set in anger and he collected himself to wipe away the tears. She hadn't said as much but she was gone. Really, truly, finally gone. Sadly, he had always known it would come to that.

The End.


End file.
